All right, so before I introduce myself I want to first tell the story of how I finally decided to begin my blogging career. Picture this…fight night weekend (unbeknownst to me I might add), I’m pulling in to one of my regular bars, there are cones blocking the entrance aka parking lot full. In hindsight this should have been strike one and the first clue to go home but no, I hadn’t eaten all day and dammit I wanted my sweet and spicy wings, it should be noted that most stories (past and present) involving me will generally involve some type of chicken wing and alcoholic beverage, but I digress, back to story. So I continue driving to the subdivision over to park, oh yeah, did I mention it’s drizzling rain outside, that really should have been the strike one to stay my butt home but greed won, anyway, so parking space found in said parking lot down street from bar, great, now I have to walk a distance, that includes a semi-steep hill in 6 inch-heels, chunky or not, I’m damn clumsy and my potential for falling and/or stalking like a new born baby calf has increased 10 fold. Whew! Made it to bar, not even an ankle roll. Cover charge paid, enter establishment, whoaaaa, it’s never this many people in this hole and the wall, wtf! Strut in (check), look important (check), scan area fake pretending I’m looking for someone to avoid being obviously alone and increasing chance of abduction (check). Now that the important things are out the way, wing time! Scan bar for seat, no luck, timidly stand awaiting bar tender to notice me for order and oh look-ey here an empty chair, winning! HA! Middle finger to you 2 strikes, cause the kid never strikes out! (It should be noted that the kid does later strike out, keep reading) Politely ask older gentleman sitting next to empty chair, is someone sitting here, no you say? helloooooo Jessica (Introduction made, to you guys, not the older gentleman yet). So sitting down now, time to figure out why my fav bar is so packed, 10 seconds later after looking at tv, fight night, well damn! I guess this could be good, might meet someone, single men like fights right? Alright so here I’m going to take a break an introduce you to an alcoholic beverage that has not only become my go-to but also lead to a many of bad decisions, including the sleeping of bartender at my favorite bar (hey! hey!, no judging!). The “casino royale”, I’ll post the recipe at the end of the post. WARNING!! Before y’all just roll up in the bar/club ordering one, here me in your head yelling WARNING!! or for my cool peeps just imagine a little Mystikal on your shoulder shouting DANGER!! cause it will put you on the floor, I mean the damn drink is made with Tanqueray, who tf is drinking Tanqueray in 2018 (my apologies to the Tanqueray corporation) but I’m just saying. Don’t say I didn’t warn y’all!. Anyway back to story, I’m gonna fast forward this cause this is getting long winded and I want y’all to come back for later post. lol So 10 wings, 2 casino royale’s, a free shot of something (courtesy of said bartender mentioned earlier) and 2 malibu and pineapples later I’m FDAU on said older gentleman couch (no judgement zone people). It is not until I wake up in said gentleman t-shirt, and attempt sneaking out, emphasis on attempt cause my stupid self couldn’t figure out the damn lock on the door and all my clicking and cursing the door out woke him up, once I made eye contact I realized “I can NOT believe I did this shit again! and of course this is when the door opens, I give an awkward smile and sneak out.
Now for the official introduction, driving home and cursing myself and the casino royale’s out I thought Jess, you can not be the only one still doing dumb shit like this. I’m sure it’s plenty of single women, divorced women like myself getting back on the dating scene, and even married women who need a place to just vent if they need to, or read about another woman’s experience. I want to share mine with y’all. My hope is to first have something to do so I can stay out of bars and monitor my body count, but to also share my experiences and thoughts for advice from the more experienced ladies, keep my young ones from making my same mistakes, and dammit just having a dating/lifestyle blog that isn’t written by a man spewing bs inspirational quotes (Steve Harvey shade, oh and that one dude from IG Letoya Luckett married, shade to you too). I want to be like a new Carrie Bradshaw, let me stop faking, I never really watched that show, I did see the movies, they were alright, maybe more like a Beyonce in the Girl video, yeah that video was cute, I’ll be her. So yeah, life experiences (like the one above), career moves, finances, spirituality, all that I hope to touch on and hope to learn and grow with you guys!
Thanks for joining me!
P.s.–I guess this was more like a blog intro rather than a personal introduction, I’m still building the website so maybe I can add like a bio section so I can give y’all a little background.
“You’re not gonna tell me who I am, I’m gonna tell you who I am” — Onika Maraj
Oh yeah, here’s the recipe, I’ll warn you, it taste like crap, again Tanqueray, so don’t be cursing me out when you drink it.
Casino Royale (Shoutout G)
3 oz Gin (Tanqueray)
3 oz Vodka
Bartender Splash of Lemon Juice
1 Orange Slice
You know, reading that recipe, I realize this ain’t nothing but liquor, I have GOT to make better informed decisions, starting with drink choices, smh.